


Amor fati

by rosmarine



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Dangerous Situation, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Will's family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 19:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10997709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosmarine/pseuds/rosmarine
Summary: “No, Nurse," says Will, "I can’t let you––I got us into this mess, all right? I’ve seen you lose your balance walking on a sidewalk, and you don’t even have a driver’s license.”Nurse shrugs. “It’s not your fault. Those guys in the snowplows waved you onto this weird, non-road.”“That’s right! This isn’t a road! It’s a cliff! The kind that cars roll off of and people jump from to die!”





	Amor fati

**Author's Note:**

> Amor fati: (Latin: “the love of one’s fate”)  
> An attitude in which one sees everything that happens in one’s life, including suffering and loss, as good; or, at the very least, necessary.
> 
> Thanks to all the wonderful people who volunteered to beta! Including: Dexydex, 42wallabyway-sydnee, dazeli, and dexnurseyheadcanons. All characters belong to Ngozi.

The sound of rushing water fills Derek’s ears. He has never been as scared as he is in this moment.

“Will,” he says. He can only make out Will’s expression due to the reflection of headlights off the snow-covered side of the cliff. Derek’s no expert at reading Will, but he can recognize the fear in the way Will’s knuckles grip the steering wheel. 

“We should move,” says Derek.

“Yeah, Nurse, I know about the hill,” Will snaps. Sometimes, when Derek’s lying on the blow-up mattress on Will’s floor, he wonders how he got an invite to stay at the Poindexter household over winter break. And why he accepted instead of going back to his empty house and calling up his old friends from home. 

“I’m sorry, Derek,” says Will. “Just give me a second.” 

In the back, the girls are silent. Perhaps that’s the most unsettling part of the journey––the bickering of children’s voices filled a hollow in Derek’s chest. Derek has always been the youngest sibling, cousin, kid in class. He’s never known children. 

“Nurse, could you open the glove box? I have a few flashlights in there.” 

Nurse pops it open. His fingers close around two plastic cylinders and he pulls them out, tossing one to Will. 

Derek and Will have driven their oversized SUV the wrong way up a one-way road in the dark, driving right up the edge of a cliff that drops one hundred feet into a freezing cold river, and Derek hears the sound of the driver’s door opening. 

“Will? What are you doing?” Derek wouldn’t put it past Will to desert him teetering on a cliff in the icy wasteland of upstate New York. But the littlest Poindexter children? No way. While the rest of his family headed up to Nowhere, New York for a cousin’s wedding, Will stayed behind to cheer the girls on during their soccer tournament. 

“I have to back us up,” said Will. “But I have to be careful. So I’m looking to see how much space we have before we––” Will’s eyes dart to the backseat. Mary, the youngest, has crawled into Ada’s lap. Ada has her arms wrapped tightly around Mary, burying her face into Mary’s hair. Fiona’s thrown an arm around the two, glaring at her brother. 

“Don’t you dare say it,” she says. 

The door slams shut behind Will. Derek unfastens his seatbelt, clamoring out. The cold air hits him like a wrecking ball, but his Samwell jacket is still in the trunk and Derek is not about to fish it out. Derek’s never been camping before, not even in his backyard. He’s never even been hiking, but the moment the gravel shifts under his feet and a gust of wind scares him enough to grab the window frame of the car, he swears off anything more outdoorsy than a picnic. Derek edges around the car as well as he can until he’s sandwiched between the vehicle and the cliff face. Will’s behind the car. His sneakers are illuminated by the glow of the flashlight.

“Will,” Derek calls, “Let me help you. I could direct and you drive.” He shimmies his way over until he reaches Will. 

“No, Nurse. I can’t let you––I got us into this mess, all right? I took the wrong turn, that’s my family in the car. I’ve seen you lose your balance walking on a sidewalk, and you don’t even have a driver’s license.”

Nurse sticks his hands into his pockets, shrugging. “It’s not your fault. Those guys in the snowplows waved you onto this weird, non-road.”

“That’s right!” The way Will is gesturing, Nurse fights the urge to warn him not to pinwheel. “This isn’t a road! It’s a cliff! The kind that cars roll off of and people jump from to die!”

“I’m just saying,” says Nurse. ”We’re teammates. I’m your friend. We’re supposed to work together.”

Will whips around, the flashlight bouncing off the curves of his nose and the hollows of his eyes. “I  _ know _ that, Derek, but you have to help me out here. Because if I saw you anywhere near the edge of a cliff, I don’t think I’d ever stop having nightmares about you...you…” Will drops his gaze. 

“The answer is no, Nurse. Get back into the car.” Will says. His shoulders soften. “Please? The girls need  _ someone _ .” 

Speechless, Derek follows Will back to the van. He doesn’t put on his seatbelt, doesn’t bother. Will backs up a hair’s length, gets out. Derek catches sight of the flashlight in the rearview mirror. Will comes back, they move again, Will gets out. They do this over and over. The cozy heat of the interior wears off, and all three of the girls are shaking.

Nurse turns around in his seat. “Hey little Poindexters, let’s play a game.” Derek’s been on enough car rides with his parents and sister to know the best way to pass time. 

“How about,” he says, “I pick something, anything, and describe it in three words. You guess what it is.”

“Sounds fun,” says Fiona, her voice overly cheery. 

“Nice,” says Nurse. “Okay. Stick, puck, goal.”

Mary chews her lip, perking up her head. “Hockey!”

Nurse holds out his fist. Mary clumsily bumps it. 

“You’re up next, Fee.”

\---

Time crawls on. Of course, it doesn’t help that the dashboard clock is broken.

It’s Derek’s turn, and he rattles off, “grumpy, ginger, ass––I mean,  _ handsome _ .”

Will’s back in the car. This time, they keep backing up, turning, and Will executes a perfect K-turn. 

“Hey,” he says, “Quit talking about me behind my back.”

They run into the men running the snowplows, and Derek jumps out of the car to keep Will from throwing punches.

\---

Will pulls into a diner a mile down the road with deer antlers hanging above the front door. The girls order hot chocolate and french fries. Derek and Will split a plate of hot wings. 

Will excuses himself to use the restroom. Ten minutes pass, and Derek leans over to talk to Fiona. She’s thirteen,  eight years older than Mary.

“Fiona, I’m putting you in charge,” says Derek. “Don’t talk to strangers, and if anyone approaches you text me.” He ruffles her hair. “I’ll be right back.”

Will’s not in the men’s room, but Derek ducks out the wicker door leading out back. He almost trips over Will, a dark figure sitting in the snow. 

Derek shrugs off his cardigan, stripping to his thermal shirt underneath, and drops it on Will’s head. 

“You can’t freeze to death out here, man,” says Derek, “someone’s gotta drive.”

Will looks like a curled-up tabby cat, small and pensive.

Unsure of his boundaries, Derek drops beside Will and slings an arm around his shoulder. 

“Will,” he says, “It is okay. You did it, you got us out safe and sound.” Derek doesn’t acknowledge that now  _ he’s  _ the one who will forever have to deal with the image of Will walking up and down a cliff face, in the snow, in the dark, in his beat-up sneakers. This isn’t about  _ Derek _ , and it’s just one of those things he’ll deal with.

“That was the most terrifying forty minutes of my life,” says Dex. 

Derek snorts. “I guess it beats that time I hid that creepy doll in your bunk.” So Derek’s grandmother loved to knit clothes for babies. Dex has a little brother, doesn’t he? Derek made a mental note.

“It was my fault,” said Will. “I should’ve made sure we left on time–”

“The girls wanted dinner, Dex–”

“And I should’ve checked the weather–”

“Weather was clear, man, it was a freak storm–”

“And you were distracting me–”

Derek whipped Will around, facing him.

“This was a series of bad coincidences. You are the most careful driver I have ever met. The chances of it happening again are zilch. If you weren’t there, I would be dead right now. Go back inside and finish your damn hot wings.”

Derek’s stopped shivering, and he can smell burnt burgers. Snowflakes dissolve on Will’s cheeks, leaving behind a whispered trail.

Will kisses him. 

Of course, Will misses and bumps their noses together painfully, but it’s a decent first kiss. 

Derek changes the angle, slotting into Will perfectly. Will’s hands slide until they’re cradling Derek’s hips, and Derek warms his hands on the back of Will’s neck. 

There’s the clatter of plates from inside and Will jumps back. 

“Shit, Nurse––I’m sorry,” says Will, looking down. “I didn’t mean it.

It’s been a rough night, and Derek feels like he just plunged into the Hudson river. Will’s breaking his heart next to a dumpster and despite the fact that he was in danger of falling off a cliff twenty minutes ago, this is the part of the night that will haunt him.

“It’s chill, I get it,” says Nurse. “It’s been a long night, and there’s the adrenaline thing going on.”

Will’s brow furrows. “I’m sorry about my outburst, you really weren’t distracting me. I just snapped and, well, you’re closest.”

“We can just pretend it never happened.” Derek dug his numb fingers further into the snow.

“You’re right. I’ve got to tell Mary, Ada and Fee not to say a word to our parents. They’re stressed enough as it is.” Will rises, offering a hand to Derek. “And we really shouldn’t tell my parents about us right now, or else they’d split us up and I’d have to bunk with Mike.” Will’s nose wrinkles. 

Derek blinks. “Tell them about us?”

Will looks at his quizzically. Behind him, the neon sign for the diner backlights his figure.

“Oh, sorry,” says Will. “I know I kissed you and all, but I’d kinda hoped you were looking for something serious. But we could always––”

“Yes,” says Derek, and he launches himself at Will. He pushes Will up against the wall of the diner, and the bricks cut into his hands. They must be rough on Will, but Derek can soothe it later. When they’re done trying to suck out each other’s souls. 

After an eternity, Dex pulls away.

“Come on, Nurse,” he says, “Let’s drive up to Lake George and have a hell of a time.”

Derek slides back into his seat, pressing his knee against Will’s, grateful that he hadn’t plunged off a goddamn cliff into an icy abyss.

Well, maybe he had, but at least he has a hand to hold.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! On tumblr, I'm [pointyderek](https://pointyderek.tumblr.com).


End file.
